flooded

Courtesy of Neil Gaiman, in memory of the fine writer - John M. Ford - who recently died, because pain must be tempered with pleasure, and because I thought Talen, in particular, would appreciate it:

1. And it came to pass after a decent interval of shoveling much dung, and the creatures that did eat of the fishes of the sea departing with rejoicing to do the same for the first time in an month, that they piled out of the boat, and smelt air that did not smell.

2. Whereupon the mighty lizards, those that had not already been skinned to maketh luggage and upholsterings, and who had early in the voyage eaten all the creepy-looking Precambrian thingies, went forth to find them places zoned for extinction.

3. And Noah looked about at the world, which was vast and empty and damp, and thought, well, we hadst best get around to it. An good thing the world is the Tigris and the Euphrates and the land between and that is it, or I would be one tired patriarch.

4. And he looked upon his wife, who went off in haste to gather something or other.

5. And he looked upon his daughters, and up at the heaven, and it did not darken.

6. Okay, he did say, and unto the maidens, Yoo Hoo.

7. And as he approached them, there came an hurtling stone, that struck him on the head, and he looked up again, wondering.

8. And there came a voice behind him, saying, "Sorry, friend. I wasn't looking. Name's Deukalion. This is the marina, right?"

9. Noah looked in the direction of the voice, and saw another boat, and it was big, and it had a promenade deck and a lapstrake hull.

10. And Noah's spirit was troubled.

11. But before he could cry unto the Lord something about bad jests, there came another voice, and he turned to see a modest multitude.

12. And they had no beards, and did carry their young upon their backs, and had their goods on wooden draggy things.

13. One of them raised his hand, saying, "Hi. Boy howdy, that was an long landbridge."

14. And as if there were not enough weirdness thereof, a great beast, with as it were an hangover, came up from the sea, and said, "Have you seen my mom?"

15. But another man, mighty in thews and all that, came up from yet another way, and did tear off the beast's arm and did beat him silly with it. And the warrior said his name was Bee-Wulf, which is being translated, Lupus and Wild Honey.

16. And Noah went unto his sons, Ham, Spam, and Jay-Z, and he rent their garments, because his own was the only warm thing on the boat.

II Crossovers, 1:1-16